Your Call
Got up. Packed. Wrote note. Left. At school by 7:00. Run around city. Bomb midterm. Have coffee with friends. Leave friends to check mail. Unhappy email. Find friend. Walk with friend. Have good walk/talk in great sunshine (finally). To rehearsal! Long. But progressing. Scared shitless. Makes scene better. Bored at school with friend. Leave school. Still bored. Eat. Get soul hurt. Deserve it. Wander city. Have coffee. Have coffee bought for me?!?!? Meet other friends. To show. Watch show. Haha. Tear. Haha. Over. Ditch. Shatter. Long talk in parkade. Longer talk in car. Silence. Talking continues. Silence. And more talking.I am emotionally torn apart. I have no idea what to feel. Do I deny self? No. Yes and No. Because I want two things. One a hell of a lot more then the other. Actually, I don't even want one. Maybe my heart says so, but I know that it's no good. The first one though, I want more than life. So therefore no, because I'm not going to deny what's most important to me. Nothing can change that. I don't want anything to change that, I don't know how I could handle it. No running away, I will follow. I wouldn't be able to survive without my sanity. So therefore, I will save it anyway that I can. I can't help it. I'd apologize for caring so much, but I like and want to. I want to help. And always be here. I'm an idiot, a complete fool. Bu I do have a heart at least.
I had such a great week. I don't want anything to change.
posted by Leah Wilburn @ 1:01 AM
1 Comments:
Things can only get better from here. I woke up and I heard wind. And not the shitty wind but that amazing spring breeze type wind...so i guess it wasn't wind at all and it was a breeze...you know what I'm trying to get at here. First the rain and now the wind. It's spring. Sleeping did wonders. I actually feel like living today. Too bad I have to stay in and do a project for Tim. On someone who has complete oposite views of Chekhov...yeah. It doesnt make sense to me either. Heres to one of the best night's I've had in along time (thank God i didnt go out clubbing) and to Horrib country music on my even horrid-er radio. Love ya darlin'.
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