Lovely

Option A

Unfortunatly, that was the answer that I recieved. No matter how much I told myself that it didn't matter, that I just wanted to know, and that I shouldn't get my hopes up, I did. And you know, I knew what the answer was going to be. I didn't want to be right, but I was. And even though I knew, it still hurt. Despite my best efforts. Not that there is anything to be done. I guess I kind of feel like an idiot for working so hard to build up a great friendship, only to have it be that reason that ruined it all for me. Well, thats my life in a nutshell. I work towards something and it usually goes against my efforts. At least in this department. I get an "A" for trying, even though I always fail. And there really is nothing like the stock response. The care and friendship that really goes into it honestly makes me feel so loved and truly cared for. To know that "hey, it's true we are such good friends, lets not ruin it". Because when you really care about someone you shouldn't be friends. That would just make the relationship terrible. I sound so negative and I don't mean to, or want to. Sure, I shed my tears after. And a few more on the drive home. But it will pass. I should have realized by now that my head never agrees with my heart. Because I love the friendship that I have. Maybe I want more. Okay, scrap the maybe. But I finally got a straight answer today. So therefore I am going to be very thankful for what I do have.

Despite that, today was a great day. Spent last evening and forever with an amazing babe who I adore so much and is an amazing friend to me. Looked at a great place and am so excited to move out. Had a great time at the park followed by a much needed nap. Woken up to phone call, getting ready and then met up with an awesome new friend (yay Cuff) and saw an interesting movie (Sin City). Then met up with other friends, hung out in the Tinky Tank (my car) all squished and off to late night coffee at Denny's. This day was piled high with friends, and I loved it. I hope that this is a prelude to what my summer will be like. Minus the tears. Tears of joy, okay, that I guess I can handle. I had such a great past year, and am super pumped for this summer and next year. Have a great one everybody!

posted by Leah Wilburn @ 3:10 AM