Lunch Break
Well that's what I am on now so it seemed an appropriate title. Ack, appropriate just doesn't look right to me... going crazy.Onto other things. Life has passed by and events with them. But I'm not going to go into detail. Trying to keep up with going to the gym, and helping that by eating healthy. Too bad I just love chocolate too much.
Went to school to find some music for next year. Which I did, but not enough and I am annoyed because I need to hear it, I can't just look and see that its a good song. And I don't play piano worth a dime either so that it's going to help me. But I am frustrated because I refuse to go back next year unprepared. Hello Virgo in me but I like to be organized and write lists and all that junk. And I can't stand flying by the seat of my pants (at least professionally) Also, I want to find the best stuff because I also refuse to fall back into the shadows like last year. This year is going to be different. I am not settling for "second tree from the left" anymore.
In other thoughts, I still can't wait to move into my apartment, especially now that we have a microwave... thats big enough to cook small children. Dee, I say that we just keep to using them for measuring sticks. Somehow the smell doesn't sound too pleasing...
And finally the reason that I am writing this blog right now is because it wasn't a busy morning so I had a lot of time to think and revel on what I have been doing this summer. And just about some things that have been bugging me in general. And that is how I am perceived by so many of my "friends". I don't using the quotations to assume that they are not my friends, but I have discovered how I never fit in anywhere. To school friends, I'm the hick and therefore a loser. To old friends, I'm artsy and therefore am odd . To the partying friends, I'm unapproachable because..well I don't know really. It's annoying me. I love everyone but I can't help always feeling left out of something. Or knowing that I am being made fun of for being the person that I am. I have been slightly hurt over some of those types of things and call me sensitive or whatever, but hey I am my own person. Take me or leave me because you are not going to find anyone else like me. Not anytime or anywhere. I am nice to my friends and want to see all of them all the time. But when jokes are being made at my expense because I was nice enough to invite people to go out, or just to hang out with me pisses me off. Because why come if you don't want to be there, or with me. I'd rather someone just say "Hey, I don't want to." Okay sure that sucks because then I don't get to see my friends, or do the things that I want to do. Its fucked up. But in the long run its less painful then finding out that I am being made fun of for having a good time.
I had hoped that this would get a lot of things off my chest, but now I am just pissed off. This is why I rarely voice anything. Stuff that really bothers me anyway. But then I made a vow to stop that. Maybe I'll calm down later. For now, it's back to work.
posted by Leah Wilburn @ 12:19 PM
2 Comments:
You are beautiful, wonderful, caring and generous hunny. And maybe people "make fun of you" because they are intimidated by your generosity. Me being someone who got/gets made fun of a lot, I know where you're coming from. But you also have to know that it's in your control, and if people hurt you, or piss you off, bring it up to them. Not in a bitchy way, just in a matter of fact "I don't like that you said this" kind of way.
You know how you said before that you were impressed with how big of deals my friends make with birthdays? And how you and your friends never did that? Well honey, I don't have many friends who would bring me soup, coffee and a bagel to my house completely out of the blue when I feel like the grossest person ever. You are so thoughtful, Leah, and that is one of the many wonderful things that makes you the only you. And I'm very lucky to share in the wonderfulness that you create around you everyday.
Love you darling. Miss you.
~your spindle bitch
I spent a chunk of time hanging out with your class last year. I met everyone and got to talk with a significant number of them too.
But when I think of my 'friends in second year', I think of Rachel, Daneel, Jason, and Leah.
(And no, that order is not specific) :)
I am SO looking forward to coming to school next year for many reasons, one of them being I know I'll get to see you all the time (and probably live close to you, depending on what I find).
I've been around you enough to know that you are Leah. That's it. To me you aren't too artsy or too country or too anything. You're a cool girl that comes out with us (if I'm lucky and schedules allow)
And I love that you came to an elementary school to watch our show. Everyone talks about it, but only a handfull of people will actually make the effort to come and watch our shows.
Whether others like you or want to hang out with you, I don't care. Alls I know is, I enjoy hanging out with the Leah that I know, and I hope she doesn't change anytime soon.
('cept for that "second tree from the left" change. That one's OK by me ;) ).
Post a Comment
<< Home