and second blog of the day. Congrats Leah, very cool.
Well, let us just say that today has been interesting. Nothing like freaking out that you are uncapable of acting on an impulse, and then going slightly overboard on one impulse that maybe should have been avoided. But then how can something be wrong when it has you smiling the whole way home. Nothing like taking a gamble on something that could prove amazing, or disasterous. Looks like I'll be rooting for the first one. Well, anything but disasterous anyway.
So, I think my back is broken from my movement project. And my mind as well, but for many MANY other reasons. I'm staying firm though: I shall have no regrets over burning lips.
Amazed
One dark room, one mat, and one beautiful song.
I put the ass in procrastination
Oh good lord, does theory ever go by slloooooowwwww when you are hungover. bllaaaaahhhh!!! Surprisingly though, I did quite well on that quiz. haha for me! But the bar was awsome. I was supposed to be DD but that drastically changed. There is nothing like Stony Plains "Old Bar" I love it. Yes, it was dirty and .. old, but so many people there that I hadn't seen in so long. It was great to be able to hang out with everyone again, thanks for the call Jay. (now that I actually know which Jay it was lol) Yeah. Good times in rural alberta!!
Thanks for being a sweetheart this weekend Cody and driving/paying for the movie. I was really out of it that morning I guess. I forgot everything. Love you, and I'll pay you back on monday. Speaking of the movie though, "Finding Neverland" was awsome. I thought that it would be good, but I was throughly impressed. I had such a good night afterwards to, jiving on downtown streets waiting for the lights/bus. And laughing my ass off with Phil, Cody and Nick while playing Go Fish. I haven't laughed that hard in a while.
So for today, I still don't have my movement project even started yet, and english, well I don't even have the assignment sheet. but I got laundry done...... yes yes, I'm pathetic. Love me ?!?!?
Broken
You really are weak Leah. Completely weak and you bloody well know it. Meaning you better get stronger right now, and never break down like that again.
And now that thats out of my system, I need to make a very important annoucement:
Jeff, you are my angel. My absolute saving grace. I love you with all of my heart, and am incredibly grateful for everything that you have given me. This past summer was amazing, and though what maybe had seemed like a possibility before is no longer, it has given me the best friend that I could have ever asked for. I don't think that I will ever be able to express how much I care about you, and need you. We are amazing together, you know it, and so do I. Thank you for the incredible walk tonight. I really needed it, it reminded me how close we really are. You are, and shall remain my best friend. I love you, and don't know what I will do without you if you leave. Even though I still think that it is an awsome opportunity for you. Pleae never forget routine late-night calls, and laughing constantly. This smile is for you babe. Love forever, cross my heart.
You could've cut it with a knife...
ARRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooo bloody confused!!!AH!!!
How can I think one thing, just to have it change and as soon as I get used to that new idea, have one day/action(s) completely warp my view of that new thing?But do I start to get used to this new thing now, or it is just going to change again?!?!?!?!?!
So close. It was sooo close. But then nothing.
I think I am going mental. I am actually playing out things in my head and thinking that they are happening in real life!! Someone please admit me to a mental ward. Preferably an All-women's facility. With no male vistors.
I am one big blob on the floor of the girls locker room. And there I shall remain.
I almost wish I could say that I was complaining, but I'm not. I had a good day. Disasterasly annoying and confusing, but still incredibly enjoyable...
False Alarm
so yay, I definatly got up an hour earlier then normal today. Well, I wanted to get up decently early anyway, but I ended up hitting the sleep button as usual. Or so I thought, infact I hit the hour button. Well, I must've hit both the hour and the snooze because the alarm shut. Anyway... so I wake up again in about 15 mins when the alarm goes, and start freaking out because its late and I should be up. so I get up, jump in the show, get all ready just to realize that its only 6:30. but hey, I had a great day. I think that if I actually wake up that its good for me. I was at school early, got lots of stretching/practicing in for "jazz" class. Oh oh oh.. and another thing that made me happy this morning. Just as I was going to turn the corner to park, "Jungle Boy" comes on. Oh did it ever make me happy.
This probably should go into my movement journal, but I really enjoyed movement today. Especially the freaking, diving/dying swan/dove thing. omg I don't think that I will ever be able to do that without dying of laughter. it looks absolutly hilarious
moving on. Talking to Dave today was great. both times. Because i talked to him after class about my comments on being"invisible" and I am happier now. I guess its mostly in class disscussions that I dissapear, but I am doing well in the actual class. so that is good. As well though, was the monologue comments that he gave me. I agree with him that my voice sounded a little stuck mid-way through my rant, but overall he thought it was commited. And I asked him the same thing about on stage, and I definatly don't dissapear on stage *wipes forehead*
today was overall quite a good day I thought. Man did I ever hear sme inspiring songs today. Its a sign..signs...w/e
"Live life like you were dying" - Tim McGraw
"Looks like a good day to ride" - George Canyon
"Oh oh ohohohohohohoh OH oh oh ohohohohohohoh OH" - Jungle Boy, unknown artist
Casper, the not-so-friendly-freaking ghost
Yes that is my name. Actually, its Leo, but that is another story. Back to the first one now:
I really shouldn't be complaining with my midterm evaluations. They are decent. Okay, they are pretty good, I mean 92% on the intro midterm should quite cheer me up. But I just can't get over the fact that I am invisible. That really bothers me. I am involved in a program where the last thing I need and want to be is a little fly on the wall. Am I not noticed? Do I not participate?
I wish I were a fly actually, but just a split portion of me (like Aniceto in his monologue) I wish that I could observe myself in my day to day life and see just how I really am in classes, and with other people. Anyway. I am determined to be, well, more me. I mean, ME!! I am not a shy, hiding back type of person. I can be very outgoing. I don't know why I feel so heldback here. Its like I'm always watching myself. That was another comment that I got. I am "playing it safe" - Sheril wouldn't tell me which teacher said that..
But yeah, depressing and bitchy me gone. Fun Leah returns!!!! (insert Jasons banjo music here)
I was glad to finally get out of the school today. It seemed to take forever.
The walk could have been longer though.
Booo - my reply of the night
I want to make out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - oh yay for girl talk. At least I'm not as bad as Erin. haha you dirty little girl you.
Well, I can't lie. Its already been voiced to the general public, no use in being embarrassed about it now.
But thank you for the cuddle today Cole, you cheer me up. Love you, and best of luck with your new girl. ; )
boooo, for bloody essays I am having a hell of a time with mine. Its sucks. I suck I suck I suck I suck - last five years, you cheer me up too
there are other things too but yeah. We'll leave it at that. I have a serious problem I have decided. How can a person be lonely when they are that way by choice? I hate it. I am being such a girl. I honestly, completely, really, truly am lonely! Bah, be gone you stupid girly annoyances.
*sniffle* I think I needa hug...
BAH!!!!
Such an amazing blog, and it didn't bloody save!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am FREE!!!
Talk about a night gone well. Extremely well. Save for the incredibly long drive home while I was dead tired. It felt like it lasted three hours or so. Anyway, monologue night was amazing but I am sure glad to be done it. Not because I wanted it to end, but because of how I felt about my own. I have worked my ass off on it and my performance, I thought, went very well. I enjoy the play so much, but its hard to hold on to so much negative energy, and it really is a new day now, because I feel as though a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. My stomach is still in a knot (combined with the perogy pizza that Kevin stuffed me full of) but I know that I will be back to me in the morning. Okay, it already is the morning. So therefore I mean tomorrow afternoon when I decide to wake up. Yes. But I am dead tired (as said before) so I will elaborate more tomorrow. Love you all, g'night!
stuck in a glass box of emotion
Well now, since I did not have a complete computer last night (computer room had hardwood floor put in so comp was in pieces) last nights attempt at blogging failed miserably. Therefore:
Thursday: I LOVE VOCAL LAB!!!!!!!!! I can't help it but I was absolutely miserable after my choke during the Cole Porter selections and therefore was determined to redeem myself in ballads. I think that I can confidently say that I did that. I'm not trying to brag, but I was quite happy with how "I'll forget you" went. Not only making everyone else sad (that really doesn't sound like a good thing when you don't understand the situation) but I even caught myself off guard. That definitely surprised the hell out of me, yes, yes indeed. And Stephan, you are amazing and your compliment was possibly the BEST thing that anyone has ever said to me. I love you so much, and I just want to say again, thank you. And thank you and thank you. Of course, I'm almost positive that you'll never read this, but its something that I wanted to say anyway.
and now Friday: I have discovered that there is muscle underneath my ass. At least, I'm feeling the burn of it. AH!! Three dance classes and you would think that I would be in shape and limber. How about hobbling around like and old woman, does that make any sense? I love every minute of those classes, no matter how much Dave kicks our asses, or I get extremely frustrated by not being able to get tap correctly, or I have realized that I just don't have any extension in my knees, I still love it all. And now moving on to monologues.
yes, monologues
what can I say about monologues?
mine is doing something very weird to me? Maybe.
I just feel odd lately. I don't feel myself all of the time. Usually I am good, but then (like now) there are these sudden drastic mood changes, and I don't really feel right. Its like something is insanely wrong, but I'll be damned if I know what it is. Anyway, monologue night is tomorrow, and as much as my insane moods are bothering me outside of class, they seem to be helping immensely in class. I am proud of my monologue, so we shall just see how it goes over with those not used to it. *fingers crossed*
again with vocal lab today, you can definitely see/hear the improvement that just a few short months has had on everyone here. The last two classes have been fun, and energized and just moving over all. I hope that I never forget these times, because who knows if it will stay like this. For now, its amazing.
Among others things (what a fucking long blog) tonight has proved interesting. I am glad to have gotten a few things off my chest. I am a little confused to some things, but maybe now that they are in the open(for the time being) they can resolve themselves. Or not. Whatever. (haha, oh Dave Horak)
again to Daneel. My lovely. My darling. You are amazing. I love you so much, and you make me feel so honored to be friends with you. Thank you for everything, and know that you can ALWAYS count on me to be there for you. And thank you for being there for me.
"to act is not to be emotional, but to express emotion" - my daneel baby (well not really, but we'll go with that anyway - love you)
"I'm climbin' uphill..."
"I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs
With the baby, the dog and a garden of herbs.
I will not be the girl in the sensible shoes
Pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues.
I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels
To be trotting along at the genius's heels
I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by!"
oh Last Five Years, you please me! (insert wimpy retarded girly sigh here)
So are we actually becoming decent actors, or has Tim given up on us and finally allowing some compliments to seep through? I am unsure. I'd hate to get my hopes up by thinking that I am actually succeeding at a task that he has laid out, but then again, there are others who say that we're just awesome. So do I go with that? Or hold back such happy thoughts in order to keep pushing for greatness?
perhaps the answer will come at a later date (haha, with my luck, it will be after the presentation, and then its a yay, that umm.. helps now....)
So I have yet to get any real progress on my essays, but I still feel somewhat alleviated of some stress that has slowly been accumulating. Yay for caring all my tension in my shoulders. Anyone willing, I will allow you the pleasure and divine treat to give me a back massage. huh-huh-huh... any takers?!?!?! Don't all jump up at once now..
Aside from that, cliffnotes of today: overall, quite good. except for the stress of being late (almost, nay for speed limits) but dance was decent, movement as well, and I actually have a dramatic song now. Nothing terribly wrong with today. I'd say it deserves a B. Not quite a B+ day.
One final comment, relating to the mood that I am currently in. In accordance to interesting conversation with Jason. I don't quite understand many cliches of style. ex: "preppy" I am not sure what it all incorporates. But then, when asked what a "Leah" style would be, it was said that its a "preppy cowgirlness". But how can I have a preppy style without knowing how to? Does that just mean that there is no such thing as originality anymore? someone who is just being themselves and not trying to copy anyone/be like anything, just ends up still having a "style" that has already been invented. not that any of this is going anywhere, but it is still interesting, and slightly depressing. Think on it, and please enlighten me with your views.
Never never never never will I make sense
yay yay yay yay yay for essays
oh. woo. hoo. wow. ee. I sure am happy to write these. yes. indeed.
ON TO BETTER THINGS!!!! So I just realized that I am not sure what state of mind I am in. I am no longer angry (stupid monologue making me all mad - rightfully) and I am not longer sad (long old story, over and done with) and yet I also believe that at this moment, I am not as excited as I have been (back in school, missed lots of people) so what am I? contemplative? neutral? I am unsure.
oh WAIT!!! I'm always difficult to figure out, I forgot! Excellent conversation about that today, although it didn't continue. But I have been informed that it is not just myself who does not understand... myself (hehehe...oh Austin powers, what will you think of next) but yes, so I am just releasing my ideas on the subject. and that is: please don't try to figure me out. What I am feeling, thinking, trying to get across, any of it. I barely understand myself. And its quite frustrating. But its just who I am. I apologize if this is un-nerving and annoying even, but I don't know what to do about it. If anyone does have a problem, dilemma, (insert-appropriate-word-here) please ask me and I will do my best to help you out. But don't try to figure out what I'm thinking by yourself. Because I am "really hard to read" - quoter shall remain anonymous
Steve - you are awesome. blind, crazy, and ......... blind. but maybe its because you miss the girlfriend and it is affecting your mental state. Anyway I still love you, and thanks for the compliment anyway. big hug
Its a grand night for singing!
Well, maybe not that song, but something cheerful. I have just had such an awesome break and a good day today on top of it. I can't believe how many people changed their hair over the break. Yeah.. Talk about being original there Leah.. hehehe...he...ooh
Anyway! I didn't realize how much I missed a lot of people until I came back to school. Ali, even though I've talked to you a couple times, Daneel, with all my heart do I love you, and Phil!! Phil Phil Phil you sweetheart, I wanted to talk to you all break but really couldn't afford the long distance bill. But it was so good to see you!!!
On top of it all, I am uber excited for monologue night. Tim actually gave me some excellent praise today, and even better were his words of wisdom. Talk about and amazing man. My hats off to the master! I can't believe that he felt that I was working really hard (and I am) and that I've been doing everything that he has asked me to. And now, I get to forget all of that, and just take it over the top. YAY! But oh, my stomach ached today from all the tension I had built up while waiting for my turn to read(its an angry, tension filled monologue). And thank you for your help Jason to try and piss me off. I think it did help, and yes I know you didn't mean those things you said. Congrats on your memorization too, its an insane amount to know.
Anyway, it is time for this girl to get her keester off to bed. Well, at least off the computer. I'm such a geek. Speaking of being a geek, 92% on the sparknotes hamlet quiz baby. HAHA, I RULE! Yes, oh do I ever love Hamlet. yay yay yay!!
goodnight all, and have a pleasant until-next-time! Ciao!
What a night
I must remind myself to go to clubs more often. they are AWSOME!!! I had such an amazing time tonight. It was soo great to finally hang out with Gill after so long. I miss you with all of my heart, we can't keep seeing each other once every 2 months or so. but even with all of the blunders (there too early, can't be in the lounge, having to pay cover twice - almost) the night turned out to be fantastic. ash, wish you and dave could have stayed longer, but I was happy to have your company for the first while anyway. muah!
so can we just say.... I love to dance!!!! even though I'm kind of a skanky dancer. Well, at least with gill. okay, i'm not a skank, Gill and I just dance quite sexually with each other. Nothing wrong with that, you're hot! and erin, sooo happy for you. Even though I'm a little jealous that you hooked up and I didn't even get asked to dance. again I ask, "do I have a third arm growing out of my forehead or something?!?!?!" Well, there was that one guy, but I think that I had more balls then him, and sort of started dancing with him first. I guess he was cute, but a little too immature. And sorry Ash but nothing happened with Warren and I. Actually, the only other time he talked to me was to ask where you had run off to, and I think he was pretty dissapointed. He's still into you, and there is nothing wrong with that, he's gorgeous. Rum was still awsome no matter what though. oooh and steve!!! I can't believe he was there, that rocked. Man I miss you cutie, you are such a sweetheart. And always around to pay a compliment. Love you!
anyway, I'm rambling and its only interesting for myself. but then again, I'm writing for myself so whatever. I'm tired and glad to be home, but still, what a night.
Rum tonight!!!!
So night is party night. I can't wait!!! I hope that lots of people are going to be coming out. This will probably be the first of two blogs to happen this evening, but that is alright. prior to the dancing extravaganza I am having an awsome day. Erin and Ash and myself had such a great night, and a good morning as well. We went into the city (dropped
Erin off first) and Ash and I had a great time at the mall shopping. it was fun and MAN I can not get over the amount of good looking guys at the mall today. Maybe its because of a CFR.....oooooooooh cowboys........ :D
so yeah... anyway... will talk again later about how the evening went. Ya'll should come out, it's going to be fun! And maybe this "meeting" with ash's friend will turn out to be a plus.. maybe. Defiantly not getting my hopes up though..
tata!
GIRLZ NIGHT!
And is it ever a spectacular night indeed! Ash, Erin and I are having an awsome time. Who thought fast food, hair dye, more snacks and many laughs could be so awesome. Erin looks super hot in her new hair do. I defiantly needed tonight to get my mind off of a lot of things. And there hasn't even been drinking involved. Man, I'm not myself lately. not drinking, and even being a little girly. it was so much fun showing the girls around Stony, I'm so proud of my hick town, i 'll love it forever. Wow. anyway, thanks ladies for making my night so awsome and helping me out with my "problems". You're the best. gill it sucks that you have to work tomorrow and couldn't come out tonight, but I'm glad your coming out tomorrow. Everyone, come out to Rum Jungle tomorrow. Or whatever its called now, its going to be awsome. wish me luck that this man of ash's is all that he has been described. maybe he's just what i need..... mostly to get my head off you. why are you so ... you?
Aside from that, the night has been awsome, I don't want this happy me to ever end!!!
PLEASE!! everyone come out tomorrow!!!
Oh Happy Day!
(inreference to previous blog): Woah now Leah. You need to calm down a little. yeesh (I'm normally a nice person, I swear...)
Anyway man do I LOVE my break. I've been waiting to have some fun for such a long time now. And I did. For all those interested (and reading) PLEASE go to Ratt @ the university. Its a kareoke bar/student lounge type place and it was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo awsome last night!!! WWWWOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
Jeff sweetheart, you and I are just absolutly amazing. Love you so much!
I can't wait for girls night on fri/sat, it's going to be so hot!!! and not just because we are ;) Any girls reading give me a call for more details (my place fri). for anyone else reading, come out to Rum on Sat, you won't be dissapointed, promise. Well, at least with the company. haha
Miss you Daneel, I wish you were in town to come out, but at the same time I am so happy for you. I love happy Daneel too. kiss kiss
Cole, cheer up, you have friends. more so then i, as we have just found out. Hope your date went well.
And for you, well unfortunatly you're still in my head, but I'm not unhappy. I hope that everything in your life is awsome, you deserve it!
I hate you with every ounce of me
Lost in... me
I have found myself wandering through my own mind and realized, as of late, that I do not recognize any of the paths that I take.
woah, I did not mean for that to rhyme. Well then, since I have started a trend..(this could be real bad)
I have found myself wandering in my mind as of late, and realize I do not recognize that paths I take
I find that I am confused and alone, and searching for passion that is not shown.
The emotions I seek are not those in me, but of other certain people I happen to see
Of course they do not know what I do, and pass me by as if they could walk right through
the emotions that I feel hidden behind, a wall of protection that encases my mind.
I have been hurt before and accepted the pain, and now I use it to further my gain.
You may see me as I am before you, but you will never know the thoughts I go through
While wandering alone with my abundance of emotion, endlessly hating myself for my devotion.
To you and to all that I am feeling, you make me ache, and send my mind reeling.
But against you a grudge I do not hold, for as much as I wish, I cannot turn my heart cold.
Well then now that that is over with, time for some actual talk. actual talk actual talk. Alright so i never
talk too proper anyway and now is not a great time to start. but i do have a question: can i care about
something and at the same time, stay sane because i know that i have made a fool of myself and
probably hurt myself in the long run, because of the things that I care about? maybe that should just be
a rhetorical question. i barely understand it, let alone think that there is an answer for it. I say, just
forget about it.
Easier said then done.
dirnking drinkinm dinking drinking....
whiskey is excellent!
i have come to realize the sorry shape that i am in, and all of the stupid things that i have done to put myself in thi sa sitauation. but is okay. because i made all of my mistakes myself and ere go, am the only one to blame. i have really fucked myself over lately, and there is now nothihgnthat i can do abut it but live on. even though it may suck, i can be happy knowing that i know... l.fdlanfdvm kn okay, i mean i realize how stupid i have been and i'm goig to rectify it by being everything i was coming into said program. i don[t need people to like me, or worry about peple looking down on me. i am who i fucking am and if that doesnt suit somenoe so what. take me as i am, because i am no one else. i'm not changin to suit smeone else, and i'm not going to keep chasing after something that continually pushes me away. i don't chase, if soomeone/omething wants to, its know where to find me
goodnight all, i bid you all a fine evening!
end of it all....
I have had my craptastic week, and now this sunday has provided me with an epiphany.
I am perfectly fine and, even though slightly crazy, I can enjoy my life and the interminglings of it. No longer shall there be negativity. I can handle whatever the hell I am sent and no matter how crappy things get, I will learn from them, and smile my big-ass smile right in their face. Because I can overcome my fears, doubts and failing points that make me who I am. I am no where near perfect, but no one is going to ask me to be anyone but who I am. I can admit that I have experianced an uncomfortable amount of emotional flooding, but the dam is back up and nothing is getting through this time.
Find myself all alone, In darkness without you
Now I can't turn away, From what I must do
You know I'd give my life for you More than words can say
I've shown you how to love someone, I know you'll find a way
Say goodbye, close your eyes Remember me
Walk away, the sun remains Remember me
I'll live on somewhere in your heart, You must believe Remember me
No way I can change my mind, I don't have the answers
If you could see through my eyes, You'd let go of your fears
And though I have to leave you now, With the thought of each other
I'll miss your touch You call my name, I am with you forever
With the change, we can't explain Remember me
You know I'd give my life for you, More than words can say
I showed you how to love someone, I know you'll find a way
Be there to watch over you Remember me
Feel I'm gone, My heart lives on Remember me
Don't you think of this as the end I'll come into your dreams Remember me
Close your eyes, Say goodbye, Remember me
Say you wil, lClose your eyes, Remember me
Say you will, Say goodbye, Remember me
"Remember Me" - Journey (I'm such an eighties geek, wow)
(don't care though, its a fantastic song)
p.s. its just good song, i'm not pulling a "living myself through song" thing right now
shatter
well fekecking hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate the whole lot, they are freaking confusing and annoying. I do want ash though... i'm hot for her. Anyway, I guess it doesn't matter because you all (if anyone is reading) have no idea who/what i am talking about so therefore i'm just bitching to myself. I hate not knowing everything and second guessing myself. i want to drink... and drink... and drink until I can't even tell that I have feelings at all. good or bad... anyway, to that hateful situation, you can find a new person to screw with. i'm done. I lost hope a while ago, why did i have to go and put even a slight amount of hope into it this time.
Happy Girl
Oh, indeed I am very happy. Talk about a good night...even though technically the
night wasn't that good...oh well, had a great time between 4:00 and 6:00. but sshhh, I didn't say that. ;) I'm an idiot, but who cares, I am free of restraints and weights. HAHA!! Oh happy girl
tonights rating on self esteem meter....... non existant
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I definatly have just a slight amount of rage tonight. But how can I not be after that brutal choke. arg!!!!!!!!!! Anyone have a gun? No? how 'bout some rope and an instruction book on how to make a knoose? still no? any blunt object maybe........?
Talk about a crappy-i-wanna-kill-someone/something/myself kinda week...
a little nudge is all it takes...
So aparantly some people feel the need to complain about no one reading their messages, when all they have to do is hmm... maybe inform others that there is something to read. Then the reading begins. change that, it began. and I have just discovered that the more you get to know certain people, the more surprises you recieve. from one indiv. at least. I don't believe I've have such a sincere yet indirect compliment before. To bad I've never been very good at saying anything back. can a look/smile replace the words that don't seem capable of being said?
